


Mother

by CybeleEvelysse



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Death, F/M, Mother-Son Relationship, Sad Ending, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:13:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27365590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CybeleEvelysse/pseuds/CybeleEvelysse
Summary: What if Maruki had given Akechi his mother back? Would he see through it?Written from first person perspective. Trigger warning for suicide.
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Akechi Goro's Mother
Kudos: 22





	Mother

I had been released. How had I been released? I told them of my crimes. I told them of every single murder I had committed. Every single life that had been taken by my hands. How could they let me go after that? I deserved to be locked up. I deserved to be punished for what I had done. Why was I set free? It didn't make any sense.

My mind started to feel hazy all of the sudden, like I was forgetting something, or maybe I was remembering something. Something important. I placed my hand on the doorknob to my apartment. What was I thinking? I can't...remember. Where did I just come from? Maybe whatever it was wasn't that important... I turned the knob and opened the door.

"Welcome home, Goro," I heard a voice say as I stepped through the doorway. That voice...it felt so familiar. I looked around the room and that was when I saw her, my mother. She was standing there in the kitchen, baking cookies. She was just how I remembered her. Thin frame, delicate hands, and long pale brown hair that was the same shade as mine. She turned to face me when I walked in and smiled, her eyes that mirrored my own filled with joy. I felt calm looking at her. Why was I so angry before anyway?

Wait...why was she here? She had...I could see it, flashing before my eyes, the moment I... What was I just thinking about? How strange, I must have just lost my train of thought. Of course she was here, my mother was always here when I got home. It was christmas. She was making christmas cookies for me, just like she did every year. "Did you have a nice time with your friends?" She asked me. That's right, I had just gotten back from the christmas party at Leblanc. How did I forget that?

"Yes, it was fun to spend the day with them," I replied. I walked toward her and sat at the counter across from her. There were cookies sat on racks in front of me. They smelled so sweet.

"They should be cool enough now if you want to have one," My mother said. I picked one up and took a bite. It was good, really good. Why did I think I didn't like sweets? Of course I liked sweets, my mother made the best ones. I always enjoyed her baking, though she used to not do it very often.

We used to live a very difficult life, but ever since I became the detective prince, we've been living much more comfortably. My job paid so well that my mother was able to quit her job. She finally had time for her hobbies again, and could do the things that she enjoyed. It made me so happy to see her this way, to see that I had been able to make life better for her. She had always supported me growing up, so now that I was older it was my turn to return the favor.

"I'd love to meet some of your friends one day. Maybe you could introduce me?" My mother suggested. That sounded like a nice idea, maybe I would.

"Of course. I'm sure they'd be happy to meet you. Maybe we could go tomorrow. They'd probably love to try your cookies," I replied, taking another bite of the cookie. Everything felt so nice, so peaceful. I hadn't felt that way in a long time...why hadn't I felt that way in a long time? I looked up at her...I could see it, I was looking up then too...I saw...

"You know, maybe it's time you started thinking about finding a nice girl to be with," My mother suggested. I lost my train of thought again. Why did that keep happening? Probably best to not think about it. "Is there anyone in your group of friends that you like?"

"Well, there is this one girl...but she would never love me." I felt this wave of sadness wash over me as I responded to that question. Why did I feel that way? I was popular, everyone seemed to like me. Why did I think she wouldn't?

"Why wouldn't she? You're caring, hard working, smart, and handsome. I'm sure she would fall for you. You should just tell her how you feel," My mother advised me. She was always so supportive of me.

"Maybe you're right," I replied, but for some reason I didn't feel so sure about it.

"I'm so proud of you, you know. You're such a good boy, and you've grown into such a fine young man. We've had a hard life, but I'm so thankful to have had you. You were always the one good thing in my life that kept me going even when things were at their worst." Mother...I wanted to cry. Why did I want to cry?

"I love you, mom. I'm so glad you get to finally be happy." It felt so strange, everything was so perfect, so peaceful, but yet, I felt...

"You deserve to be happy too. Don't spend all of your time working just for me. Go tell that girl how you feel soon. One day, I hope to have grandchildren, you know." But I was happy already, because my mother was here. She wasn't...of course she wasn't, don't think like that.

Maybe she was right. Maybe I should start thinking about my future. Once I was done with school, I'd probably have time to date someone, if I wanted to. I wanted to have a family someday. I wanted to be a good father, the kind of father my father wasn't. I wanted to show my mother that I could be better than him, that she had raised me to be better.

"Okay, I will," I told her. She smiled at me again. I loved seeing her smile.

"I just hope she's good at cooking. I tried to teach you so many times, but you're just so hopeless at that. I guess you can't be good at everything," My mother laughed.

"It's my one flaw, I guess." Just one? But I had so many, I had done so many... I heard the ding of the oven timer. My mother turned around and pulled the next batch of cookies out of the oven, then set them on top of the stove. 

"Why don't I make a special box of cookies for you to bring to her? Do you think she would like that?" My mother offered.

"I don't know, maybe..." I didn't really know her all that well yet. "Do you think I could make her happy? She lost someone important to her, and I think she's really sad on the inside." I wanted my mother's advice. She turned back around to face me.

Her face...it was only a split second, but for a moment, it was so...lifeless... Why did I see that? There was nothing lifeless about her. She was alive. She could smile, she could give me advice, she could support me, she could tell me how proud she was of the man I had become. I was perfect. I was everything she needed, everything she wanted me to be. She could rely on me. Everything was the way that it should be, because she was alive.

"Just be her hero, just like you've been my hero. I know you can make her happy." My mother had such confidence in me. I didn't think I deserved it though...why was that? I had been her hero. I had saved her. She would never have to bring home strange men again, because I had rescued us from that life. My mother was safe, happy. Maybe I did deserve it. I had done all of the right things. I was a good son.

"I'll try," I replied. My mother walked out of the kitchen then and stood in front of the christmas tree in the corner of the living room.

"Why don't you open your present now? It is christmas, after all," She suggested. Present? But I hadn't gotten anything for her in return. Why didn't I get anything for her? I usually made something for her. She loved it when I hand made things for her. Why hadn't I done that this year?

I got up and walked over to the tree. There was a single present underneath it, just as she had said. I knelt down and unwrapped it. It was a framed photo of me and my mother, from when I was a baby. It must have been the day I was born. "I know you can afford anything you want these days, so I thought I would give you something you couldn't buy. That photo shows the best day of my life, the day that I had you. I want you to have it so that you'll always remember how special you are to me."

I felt my mother's arms wrap around me then as she hugged me. What was this feeling...I felt so warm, so happy. I think I haven't felt this way in a long time. Was this what it felt like to be loved? Why did this feel so strange and foreign to me? My mother was here everyday. She always told me she loved me, and gave me hugs all the time, yet…

I felt cold when she finally stopped hugging me and backed away from me. I turned my head to look at her, and that was when I finally saw it. My vision, which had been hazy before, was suddenly clear. From this angle, the angle that I saw it from as a small child, I knew what I was looking at. Hanging from the ceiling, dead and lifeless, was my mother. Tears started streaming down my face, just the same as they did then.

My mother was dead. She had been dead this whole time. I didn't save her at all. How had I denied that? I was the one who found her that day, so I knew this wasn't real. I knew she was dead. I must have just denied it because I wanted it to not be true. I wanted to have been her hero, but in truth I wasn't a hero at all. I was a curse for her. She was dead because she couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't live that awful life, where she had to have sex with strangers just so that she could afford to take care of me. It was my fault. She wouldn't have had to do that if she didn't have me.

I didn't become what she would have wanted. I became a monster. I thought I was doing it for her, to avenge her, but...if she saw what I had done, she wouldn't have been proud. My mother wouldn't have wanted this life for me. She was kind and loving, despite her circumstances. She had always tried to shield me from our painful reality by sending me away to the bathhouse whenever she had to do unspeakable things. She wanted to protect me from all of that. She wouldn't have wanted me to do all that I did…

I don't deserve happiness, and I can't make anyone else happy either. I'm not a hero. I know that. I've always known that. Maybe I could have been, if only things had been different. But they weren't. Reality doesn't work that way. I had to live with what I had done. I had to live with the choices I had made. I would never have friends. I would never fall in love. I would never have a family. My mother was dead, and I would never get to have her christmas cookies again…

I didn't like sweets anyway. In fact, I think I hated them.

The anger returned to me. I got up and threw the cookies in the trash. I hate this world. I hate everyone and everything in it. Nothing matters, it's all just worthless trash. I refuse to be in this world. I remember now, I should be dead. I'll fix that. I'll find whoever the fuck tried to mess with my head, and I will kill them. That is my choice, and I at least deserve to be able to have that. A choice.

I went to grab the last tray of cookies, the ones that my mother had just taken out of the oven, intent on throwing those away too, but for some reason I stopped. I wound up putting them into a container instead. I don't know why I did that. I didn't want to eat them. I just wanted...to save them, I guess.


End file.
